Well...as most of you know by now....it finally happened....as I sit here writing this, there is this little 3 day old being that I am now responsible for....i cant even keep a plant alive...lol...
Ok first...the stats....
He was born on 10/2, 8lbs, 15ozs, 19 inches, and is African American.. Full term baby...he was positive for meth and cocaine at birth, but I didn't expect anything less. He has a few medical things going on...but nothing i can't handle...
So the way it went down was this...started off as a normal day of work...not happy because i am not super fond of the rain...i had to drag out my tennis shoes and jeans...ick...So my 10 o'clock appt didn't show, so I called and he said that he was at the welfare office and wasn't going to make it. So i decided to go see a child at school on the other side of town. Darby decided to go with me and then we were going to have lunch at Alexandria's Cafe (for those of you in the Bradshaw area..its on Kiefer...great food) So we are sitting eating the awesome tri tip sandwich and chatting. My phone rang, and i recognized the number...the one that my heart stops every time it shows up on my phone. I looked at Darby, took a deep breath, got myself ready for rejection and answered it. The SW was on the other line, and she said "I know this is out of your box, but..." Usually when she says this, i know that my next word is "No" I listened to what she had, and really the only thing that made me second guess anything were the medical issues. After some phone calls, and discussions I finally decided that I was going to do this.
The next few hours are kind of a blur....I know i drove from the cafe to the SW's office to sign paperwork. While we were there everyone was so excited for me, and of course I was too, but i could feel my heart start to beat a little faster, and the sweat started to pour off my forehead. I sat down to sign the paperwork which was weird, because usually the paperwork that i was about to sign, my name was under Social worker, and this time i was signing under "Foster Mother." So weird!!!! We left the office with copies of paperwork and a plastic bag with some clothes. I think from there, i tried to call work, but ended up driving Darby to her car at the office. From there we came back to my house, and waited. I was waiting for a social worker from the hospital to call me. Of course I was anxious, so i paged the social worker. After about half hour, i still hadn't heard anything. Meanwhile, i am stressing out, I mean the whole entire room has been ready to go for a year but i have a few outfits, diapers (but not sure i have the right size). I have had gift cards from the wonderful shower i had a year ago. I have no idea what I need, and my anxiety and emotions are not helping any. Luckily i had my awesome friend to help bring me back to reality. FINALLY the call comes in from Denise...baby is ready for discharge, but they are waiting for the medication, so I should plan to be there around 5. Well since it is only 3:30 off to Target we go. I know i was laughing the entire time, but it had to be comical watching the two of us run up and down the aisles..."do we need this, did you get that, i cant find this, what does that do?" After we load up the basket, we head to the front to pay. We are guessing how much this massive pile of things cost, Darby says $175 and I say closwe to 400. Well we had already hit Darby's mark...$350 later...we are armed with hopefully everything we need to get us at least through the night.
Off to the hospital we go. We check in and are directed to the Special Care Nursery. Every other time that I have been in a special care nursery, it is loud and bustling...this little baby was the only one left. There he lay, wrapped up like a burrito, and this cute little blue and white hat. Think Where's Waldo. So after all the info i have to take in, and i know that they are all important, but its almost like slow motion. Doctor's appts, Medi-Cal, medication....i have to admit i had some doubts, and almost ran out of there. But of course this is what i have been waiting for. So after what seem like forever, but in reality was probably only an hour or so, the nurse said that I could dress him to get him ready to go home. WHAT???!!!! Are you sure you want to do this, i mean once we leave this hospital it all rests on me. Horrible pressure...and i didn't even give birth.... Off to the car we went....with numerous bags full of stuff and a cut little quilt that was made by volunteer grandma's...put him in the car...and off we go.
So, it was so hard to drive and be able to see him. He was quiet..and i know all first time parents go through this, but when he was quiet it scared the crap out of me. we stopped to get something to eat, and Darby had to undo her seat belt and look at him. Glad i wasn't the only one. We get home and unload baby, all the things from the hospital and the massive pile from Target. Now what?? Well put together the Rock n play, Auntie Darby and baby bond....Uncle Calvin comes by, and has some male bonding time...so adorable...I will say that i had some tears, and worries, and i am scared to death.
As i finish this up it is now 6am. I think i slept about 3 hours between 130 and 430. He ate. and fell right back to sleep...We both slept downstairs on the couch...lol...while Auntie Darby slept upstairs in the bed...she is still sleeping....I want to say one more thing, and then will close this out. I am grateful for the support of my family and friends...and i am going to be cranky for the next who knows how long...but i have to thank Darby...I don't know how i would have gotten through the day...and even though she got sleep (LOL..she deserves it) the fact that she is asleep in the house has made me feel that much safer.
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