One week

I can't believe it, on Friday the baby will be 5 months.  In one week from now i will know if the mother's parental rights are terminated.  What a roller coaster ride.  Now i realize that this process for me has been fairly smooth. (Knock on wood, ie my head) and rarely does this happen like this, and for this i feel it means that we were meant to be together.  Once the rights are terminated then she has 60 days to appeal, after that then i can apply to adopt.  I am hoping this will happen by my birthday at the beginning of June. 

So many emotions go into being a parent, but i feel like this court process has made it even worse.  I feel super emotional right now, and even though i don't think there is a lot to worry about it is still the "what if"  I hope that when this process is over, and he is officially mine, that i will be able to work with social workers and supervisors in the adoptions program to come up with a policy so that other social workers can do this.  I feel like everyone is so worried about how it will look, and conflict of interest..blah blah blah....when really why aren't we asking what is best for the children.  I think a social worker is one of the best people to adopt these children.  There has to be a way that we can make this work in the long term.  I hope that by doing this, others stop and think about it, and maybe one person will make the decision to adopt because of us. 

I love that little boy..i love watching him grow, and become a little more independent, i love the huge smile i get when i pick him up from daycare, i even love the goofy laugh i get at 2am when i have to drag myself out of bed to get him.  I wouldn't change a thing, and look forward to the day that he officially becomes mine.

time moves so fast

When people tell you that times flies fast with children, they are not joking.  I can close my eyes and see him off to college...LOL...OK, maybe not that far...This week he started to roll over.  He hasn't been really doing it up until now.  I have been helping him along, but all of sudden he was on his stomach by himself.  the first day it was slow, but now as soon as you put him down, he rolls...unless of course his feet are not covered, then he has those.  And he is sooooo close to putting them in his mouth.  So funny to watch, he is so fixated on it.  So now it begins.  I put him down, he rolls and then he is moving.  He turns on his tummy, i turn away and he is either facing the opposite direction,  or on the other side of the blanket.  He now has to be strapped in to his bouncy seat, because I turned around and he was almost off of it.  And the jumparoo...OMG he loves it...

So the court hearing is March 7th, which is actually closer than i thought until just now.  This is the termination of parental rights.  The mother has 60 days to appeal it.  It could go super smoothly or it can be dragged out because of trials and such.  I really hope it doesn't go that way.  After all that is over, we can go forward with the adoption.  So that's where we are.  I am going to keep this short, because i have a huge pile of laundry to fold.

4 months

I feel guilty that i haven't blogged in a while...there is that dang word again..GUILT...LOL...

Today, my baby is 4 months old.  I still feel weird saying my child, since legally he isn't....but for the last four months he has been my entire world...and i feel like i should get some credit for what he is up too now...He is picking up things and grabbing things...including his toes...i swear i don't know why i spend money on toys, he likes the dirty burp rags...and my nose...o yea...Grandma and Papa bought him a Fee Fi (Butterfly to Allie) and he loves it...it makes great noise...and apparently tastes great too...he is sure to be sitting on his own soon...and i think he will walk early....he loves his jumparoo, and now when you stand him up, he "marches"  He is clearly ready for something...He sits in his bumbo chair, and can sit there for a while..  Next week is our 4 month check up and shots...hopefully he can start eating rice cereal.

He is feeling so much better...the antibiotics, while causing some side effects seems to have worked...he is still stuffy and coughing, but it is winter after all...and i am sure he will be sick again in a few weeks anyway.  He is back to his happy, mellow self.  I went to pick him up this week and as i was walking down the hall i could hear babies crying.  I knew i was about to walk into see my crying baby.  When i walk in, there were 6 babies....5 were crying....mine was the only one that wasn't....he is giggling A LOT....his hair is out of control, even though everyone loves it....

All i have to say is that this little boy makes me soooo happy....i love him and am so glad he has come into my life.  Happy 4 months my little boy...its been awesome!