My own worst enemy

And BTW every time the phone rings, my heart skips a beat...

So it has only been a day since my...,lets call it victory...and I am already climbing the walls.  When I started this process last year, I was so excited and ready, after a few months I realized it was going to be a long process, i settled in for the long haul.  I got into a routine, or i guess was in my normal routine, and i did what i do with work, compartmentalize, and take away some of the emotion so I can live with it, there were a few ups and downs...I felt so bi polar (OK even more so than i am normally)  then for the last 6 months, nothing, not a phone call, only a adoption picnic, which was horrible, but that brought back some of the emotions.  Then I settled back into the routine, then kicked it back up with this "fight" and here I am.

I apologize to everyone in advance i know i have baby on the brain, and i tend to obsess so when you get sick of hearing about it..just let me know...So yesterday was a total Up, and now i feel like i am down again.  i am trying to be positive, and realize that it could be another year of waiting, and that some of this is political and it could take time, but i know that my child is out there, and it is only a matter of time before we find each other.

One step closer

I just proved to myself, and hopefully to others, that even though there is a "system" and people think one thing, if you advocate and push and think outside of the box, you can achieve anything!

So I haven't been able to really talk about what has been going on, but I have been given the go ahead.  So about 3 months ago, my friend Darby and I had been talking about how long this has been taking and all of obstacles I have run into because I work for the county. It was so difficult for me to understand that I can keep the children of Sac County safe, but i couldn't have one placed in my home because of it.  I understand conflict of interest, and get it, but i also know that there are so many kids that need a home.  So with a swift kick in the pants from Darby we sat down and wrote a letter to advocate for myself, and the other social workers who may want to do this down the road.  Really, once i found out that there is no written policy, then I knew i had a chance.  I have been working with my management (who by the way have been awesome and supportive through all of this), and today I got the official word, I can be considered for placement of a Sacramento County child!!!  Of course there are some parameters that have been set, which is fine, and needed, but this is the break I have needed.  After a heartbreaking year of waiting, and sitting on the floor in the nursery crying, I am one step closer.  Now, of course I could still be waiting for sometime, but this could speed placement up, and has expanded the search.

So first off...to Auntie Darby...you rock....thanx.....everyone else for you support and concern, thanx as well...all your good thoughts my way are needed and appreciated.....

BTW...this is where the nausea comes from...it is as if i am pregnant.

Nothing new

Nothing new to report unfortunately....

On Tuesday, I get to sit in a foster parent recertification class.  You heard me....recertification...of course i knew i would have to do this, but i really thought i would have to find a babysitter, to sit in the class for 3 hours.  I probably need to sign up for a refresher for CPR as well...

This is still a step or two above me at the office....and now am trying to figure out what else i can do.  Someone suggested I call my congressman, but i looked her up, and it says she doesn't handle local things...i assume this is local...so i don't even know where to start...and if anyone like that can even do anything for me.

If anyone has any ideas, or info...let me know....thanx