Court

So here i sit, nestled in for the long wait. It is so weird, I have been in this court house so many times, but this is the worst. Here i am, sitting in the lobby, where the mother will be sittng accross from me, and anyone of my previous clients who children i have removed could walk in and see me at any time. Got to love the system. So, today is the hearing to decide if the baby becomes a dependent of the court, which I am sure will happen. Then the lawyers argue about what to do. The reccomendation is to bypass mother for services or to offer her 6 months to get her crap together. There are a ton of things stacked against her, but she is is in a drug program but only because parole made her. This is baby number 5, and normally this is a no brainer...but i have heard things about this judge. So i sit here and stress. I kind of feel stupid, i know how this works but i was not prepared to deal with this on an emotional level. I spoke with the baby's lawyer and who knows if i screwed that up....i don't know.
So as i sit here, i am listening to this woman, who i am sure is the mother. She is laughing and talking like she doesn't have a care in the world. Meanwhile I am so tired I can't see straight. So frustrating, and in my mind i know that this woman could be my client and i woukd have to give her the benefit of the doubt.
I have to hold it together, until i get out of here. My social worker hasn't made it here yet and i have a headache. I have seen some coworkers and they think i should be ok,but we will see.

I am home now, it didnt take that long. So it was set for trial next week. Which i knew, mother has a visit on friday. She has 3 relatives that she wants assessed for placement. I dont know, again, so not prepared for this emotions. More to come.