No news to report....still waiting...though i have decided to search through the depths of Sacramento County to see if there really is a written policy that says I can't have a kid from Sac County. But then if i can, i run into whether or not i want those people to know all about me. but i will start with the first step, to see if there is anything written.
The night after the Parent Parade at 1:30am, my home phone rang. Of course when your phone rings at that horrific time, you think all kinds of things. But I picked it up anyway, and on the other end is an on call agency social worker. My heart started to beat, but i remained in control. She started to tell me that it was a 2 year old girl, and 7 month old boy, the police took the kids, and she didn't have much info, then she said that the police would bring them to me. Even at 1:30 in the morning I was able to stop and think about what she said. So i asked if they were Sacramento County kids, and she said yes. To which i started to say I can't take them, she said to me, "I know who you are, I am so sorry, go back to bed, good night." HA...go back to bed she says....LOL...eventually I did...
On Friday i got to spend some time with my 2 year old niece, and man is she growing is so fast. Even though i don't see her often (not nearly as often as i would like) she seemed to know who I was...or faked it really well..but i do know that when we weren't seeing her on a regular basis, she was super shy, and never really opened up. She was grabbing my hand and dragging me around the house, she got up on her slide, and leaned over and kissed me, though grandpa wasn't very happy about that. She is becoming a little person, she let me put up her hair, and when it was time for her nap, she asked me to take off her shoes, we followed her to her room, got her 3 binkys, and when grandpa tried to pick her up to put her in the crib, she shook her head no, came to me...i picked her up, she gave me a kiss..i put her in the crib and off to sleep she went...my point being is that I am SO ready for this.
I stopped in to see my mom at work....i always loved doing that, used to come in and help her. It's always fun to watch her students look at me and try to figure out who I am. It was a rainy day, and obviously they were all climbing the walls, including my mother. After she put on a video for them, she said that she wanted to ask me something outside...when we got out there, she asked me if i could get her through a level of Angry Birds...LOL..but then she said that she wanted to ask me something without me getting mad..i love when she says that, but she asked me why i don't just go and get pregnant, and in nine months I will have a baby. So I thought about it on my drive home. I would love to have a biological baby, and whose to say that i wont..but now that i have spent the money, done everything i have, opened up my entire life, is it worth it to go thru with this.... The answer right now is yes. The reason, i joke that i don't like pain, and blah blah blah, but adoption for me isn't about that...I can give a child who would otherwise not have a great life, a chance at one. Maybe i need to put a time limit on how long I will wait before i try it another way. I don't know. It has only been 4 months since i have been certified, and i knew going into this that it could take some time.
So....the wait goes on....
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