So today I dressed up...ok..kind of...but I did put on some makeup...tried to take off my social worker hat, and be an adoptive parent. So I am standing in the hallway with a bunch of other people....most of which were couples, waiting for the opportunity to walk in to a little room and sell myself to some social workers who could change my life. I will say that I saw my friend Kristi, who I worked with briefly, so it was nice to see a familiar face. My social worker from my agency was there and we were there to "sell" me.
So we go into the room, mind you if your name starts with A-I you got 10:30-11:30, and off we went...almost like a cattle call. Before we went in my SW told me that she got a list of all of the children that were being "presented" today and the youngest was 4, so right off the bat I was feeling a little defeated. So, first we have to avoid Sacramento County, OK not really...but I am not going to go into that. There were tables set up around and there was no rhyme or reason to the line. So the first stop is a social worker who works for the state. My SW introduces her and then me, and says that I am a Sac County SW and I can’t take Sac County kids. She asked what I did for the county and I repeated that I was a CPS worker, in Emergency response. She takes my home study and looks at it briefly, then asks if I am going to be a single parent, and what was I going to do for daycare. I stumbled a little but said that I would have to work and that I had family and friends to help, but that I thought that daycare was going to be the option. I got "the look." So we talked for a few minutes, we shake hands, and walk to the next. So I look at my SW, and ask "is this what this is going to be like, daycare is going to be the hot topic?" She smiled and said yes, we talked about how we could fudge the truth a little I suppose...luckily we didn’t have too. Next up was El Dorado County, which I did my internship with some years ago. I didn’t recognize the two SW's but we started again. She told us what children she had available. She looked at my home study, said that she remembered seeing my name in the book that my agency has with a list of all their adoptive families. The SW said that my name sounded familiar, I dropped a few names from when I was there, and she smiled, which was promising. I explained I was looking for a baby, and to please keep me in mind. She said that she would for sure. On to State adoptions office of Chico, Tulare County, and Alameda County. Same thing at all, they are only looking for placement for older children. One county did have 3 year old and 2 year old brothers, but they live kind of far away. Their mother is 4 months pregnant, and we asked about that child. So that could be a possibility, but I don’t know. One county, Solano who my worker has been trying to hook up with wasn’t there in the morning, but would be their later. She would bring my home study later to give to them. I will say that we told everyone that I am a CPS worker, and that all seemed pretty positive, and the daycare issue didn’t come up again.
So after all this, a whole half hour, we left. I spoke with my worker in the parking lot. I told her I was frustrated. I am really pissed off about not being able to take Sac County kids. It seems with babies, social workers want to keep the children in their own county, so that rules me out for a lot. I was all upset and said I was going to whoever I needed to in my county to talk to about this. Of course I know why I can't, but really nobody has ever said officially that I can’t have a Sac kid. I guess it is my social worker ethics and values and not necessarily the counties. My worker was going back to the office to try to touch bases with the surrounding counties again.
So I am left with, my name out there...frustrated that nobody is interested...and really didn't make any huge contacts with social workers or other foster parents. But I will say I am still glad that the parents were put on the spot and not the children.
So...it will happen when it happens...and the right child will find their way into my life and my heart.
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