The next step....

Wow...it is becoming more and more real...I now have a room, that has been painted and a crib that has dust ruffle and everything.  i have to say, i really like it.  The monkeys are so cute...and as it turns out it matches the wall great.  I think the next step is that i( when i say that, i mean someone else) is going to paint a mural on the wall...thinking a tree in the corner and the branches go out over the crib with monkeys hanging...or something like that. I still don't know what to get to be prepared since i don't know what age of child i am going to get.  I have to say it is a little frustrating...but sure it will be fine...

So now it appears to be the waiting game.  I have turned in all my paperwork...(minus first aid, which i am doing on Thursday because i didn't realize i needed to take it with CPR). Now...i wait, they are going to get my file together send it to the main office in Davis, then send it back to the woman who does the certification, who will call to set up times for the home study.

Its weird...priorities are changing, even though it could be a year before i get a child...and even at that point, i could have a child for a year, and something happens, and it is taken from me.  Of course i know this, and knew this going into it.  This is really the only way for me to be able to adopt, so really...i have no choice.  I have thought about it, and really that's why i haven't done foster care, because I am not sure that i can handle that....or that i want to handle it. just have to think about it...i know that this will change...and what about family and friends...sigh....and of course, i am sure every soon to be mother does, i doubt myself and  my abilities as a mother.  It is fairly easy for me to go to work, and see other people's children, be great with them and such..but then i give them back (most of the time) its different when its mine or that i am responsible for it,  and i need to know when to start real food, what to do for a teething baby, or as i have seen in recent weeks how to open a stupid pack and play.  I feel like i need to go back to high school and take the class where i had to have eggs to carry around as a baby for a week.  BTW when i did that I had twin eggs...LOL..but now they have dolls that are like real...i have always thought it is good for teens, but maybe i need it too...

here is a pic of the crib for those of you who haven't seen it...