It has been so long since I have blogged. Even though I started this blog to document my road to adoption, I swore that I would continue this after as a way to keep up with things, but as we all know things and life get in the way. I really want to try to keep this up, I mean that first day that I brought the baby home, I wouldn't even remember what happened if I hadn't written it down. As it is I haven't written down everything and I know I will forget, but nothing I can do now, except try to be better about things. I can’t believe how things have changed for me. First of all, being tired is a state of mind...it is a different kind of tired that it was when he was a baby, but still...I am always tired!! I still can’t believe that both he and I are alive and doing well. Being a mother is so much more than a title, and I truly believe that not everyone is cut out to be one. This baby that is turning into a little boy, is an amazing thing and to happen in front of me is crazy. I think about his life, and where he is now, and where he could be had he not have chosen me to be his mother. I truly believe in that he would not be where he is if we hadn't been put together. Would he have crawled at 6 months or started walking at 10, would his first words have been all done? This kid is so smart, and to think 17 months ago he was brought into this world by somebody who didn't give a crap about him, did drugs, and didn't take care of herself medically yet look at him!! He is truly amazing and am proud to be his mama.
As two of my very close friends get ready to birth their own children, it has been difficult for me in some ways. I did have time to plan, but everything was unknown. I didn't get to register for the things that I wanted and thought I needed. I didn't get to pick an outfit to bring him home from the hospital in, and really didn't even know if he was going to stay with me. I did have an awesome baby shower, but I guess I feel like I missed out a little. I didn't get to wait to find out if it was a boy or a girl, I didn't get to have pictures and watch him develop into the little being I picked up at the hospital. and yes, I could have done it that way, but now I know I didn't want to go through being pregnant or giving birth and wouldn't change a thing...but I guess I am a little jealous. I am eternally grateful that my friends are so awesome and have included me in their pregnancies. I am so excited to be an auntie again, and that my son will grow up and have these other beautiful children in his life.
As for my kid, he has officially hit the terrible twos way to early, though he amazes me daily. He is a parrot, and I am so surprised that his first word wasn't a cuss word. He is such a chatterbox, and has a laugh that is infectious. I have been told that when people are having a bad day, and they hear him laugh it makes them smile. He loves music, and lately the wheels on the bus and patty cake are his two favorites. When he wants to sing he makes the hand gestures and says "peez" He gets so excited, and so proud of himself. He can say and point to body parts, and then can do it on someone else and his stuffed dog. We are finally starting to be able to communicate...which has been helpful for both of us, though when I don't understand him, he throws himself on the floor, bangs his head on the hardwood floor and fake cries...it’s awesome...lol...he now can climb up on the couch, and tonight I turned my back for seconds and he is now sitting on the back of my couch in the window, laughing his ass off!!! He has finally grown and can wear a 2T shirt...I remember a year ago, this tiny baby that I had, and can’t believe what he has turned into. We had issues at gymnastics last week, and am hoping that this week is better...he threw a tantrum and I was mortified, embarrassed and even cried...lol...first time he has every thrown a tantrum like that in public. It’s funny now, and I know I am not the only one...and this will happen time and time again...but he has always been a kick back kid. He takes everything in, stands back for a while and then jumps in.
So that is the update for now…
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