So as i sat bawling my eyes out watching Glee, I realized that I really haven't had time to deal with my own feelings, about me. My birthday has come up quick.. and before i know it...next June will be here and i will be...GASP...40..Of course this year i have something i didn't last year...but I am still lonely. I look at all of my friends that are married, and i know that there are ups and downs...and all that...but i want that...so this is another birthday that I am "alone." At least in that sense...Don't get me wrong, i love being a mother, and love that baby more than anything...but it would be so great to come home and have someone to talk to, or have someone get up in the middle of the night just once...or, and this would be the best, clean my house!! I know that life doesn't really work out for anyone like they planned...but i really thought by 40, i would at least have someone. It has been awhile, and i can blame it on a million things, but really I don't know why, and its not a good feeling. It makes me sad because my parents have been married for 42 years, and I wont be able to have that..Now this may have something to do with the lack of sleep from the last 7 and a half months, or my birthday or what....but i guess this is also the feelings of a true single mother...
So now it is off to sleep...I hope!!
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