That's according to the trainer....So this weekend i spent both days sitting in a pre-certification class..I made it thru...Did learn some things i didn't know about foster care licensing..Like every kid gets $1 for their age each week for allowance. So a 15 year old gets $60 a month!! I don't remember every getting that...I also learned a some great parenting tips...the best one...if a child doesn't want to take a bath, get a glow stick, turn off the lights, and put it the water!! How brilliant...
There was an interesting group of people in my training class...a mother and daughter, a woman who already is a foster parent, but her bf was moving in so she came with him, 2 other couples, all looking at foster care, and then me...and another single guy who has adopted 2 kids before...By the end of today we were all chatting and swapping stories and such....so that was the best part of the training..
So back the dilemma of social work vs parent always seems to take over. I make a conscious effort to give input as a social worker, as well as ask questions as a parent. Today most of the people admitted that what i did share was valuable to the class...so at least i know it was helpful..I have always had a problem sitting still, so i was on the move most of the day, which was fine...but by today i have to admit i was bored. I knew what the class was going to be about, and was dreading it, but glad i could get over in 2 days..she discussed my job, and the children and families i deal with on a daily basis..its funny, i love my job, my clients and such...but when you are on the other side and they say that they want you to be open to talking, interacting, keeping in contact with the birth parents, i actually had to stop and think about it...i think i have a leg up because i know how to deal with these parents, and maybe i can be a support to them...but then selfishly as a parent, i would like to be done with them. Then, the thought crossed my mind, after i get the child, i still have to go to work and deal with the same kind of people that my child came from..The one guy who has adopted before said before finalizing adoption on his now 11 year old, that the other two families that had his siblings agreed to continue visits. Sad enough, they only see them once or twice a year because the other families want nothing to do with it. For me, siblings are a no brainer...of course keeping in contact with them is beneficial for the child...but as a infant, i think it may be different...just some thoughts...
A lot of people don't understand that i will get placement of a child, at that time they are a foster child, and at the same time they are planning for permanency, they are also working on reunification with the birth family. So, there is a chance that i get a child, and they end up going back to their family, or that a family member will show up 6 months in and legally has to be assessed for placement. This is the only bad part of this, and I know this, knew this when i got into, and i seem to be obsessing about it more and more and even struggling a bit.
So the trainer, who also is the one who certifies my home, said that she has had parents on a list for a year waiting for an infant..this took a little of the wind out of my sail. I have been struggling with getting the room together for a week or so now. A wise person...*wink* told me that i need to be OK with a room ready for a child, even if it sits empty for a year....i am ready to do this, whole heartedly....but then moving all the stuff out of my office, finding room for things, the painting(if anyone wants to help..let me know..i hate painting) and getting things together...but she is right, i need to do this, and be OK with it...and maybe once i actually start moving things, and figuring out the layout and buying the crib and such that it will be a little different...i am super excited...but i feel that I am trying not to get too excited, and over react now...that way if something happens, or doesn't for a while, that i don't get hurt. My friends and family have been super supportive and that has helped...i guess this is something i have to work out myself...but realize this is almost the same as if i was having the baby myself...and the room has to be fixed and you have to wait until it arrives...
So next step is physical and CPR...once those are done then we can move on to the home study, though she has a back log. I have appts for both at the beginning of next month...so we will see...
Done boring you for the night!!
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