The beginning

So, I have decided to start a blog…..and before you ask, there will be no poems, or songs or anything else, just my true and honest feelings, and I guarantee a little…ok a lot…of humor thrown in. Who knows maybe I will end up having some words of wisdom on mommy hood…anything is possible…This blog is for me, my family, friends and even my future child, to document the road to motherhood, my way..

I am embarking on a long, tedious, scary, exciting journey…adoption…I have decided that I am not getting any younger, and have not been______(you fill in the word) with the love of my life, so its time to take my life into my own hands. Now I could attempt to get pregnant in other ways, and I considered it, but being a social worker and working in the system I know how many kids are born everyday to parents who can’t care for them. I feel like I have so much to give, and I am not so worried if they are biologically mine, and honestly stretch marks, weight gain and actually giving birth, don’t sound so exciting to me. Believe me I didn’t come to this decision easily. I had even started this process a few years ago, but at that point in my life, I guess I wasn’t ready. A few things have changed for me, (1) My baby brother and his wonderful wife brought my little niece Allie into the world, and (2) I realized I am almost 40!! LOL

I know that choosing to be a single mother may not be the best decision, but either way I feel like I am strong, have a great support system, and can make it work. I mean, I see it everyday that others who have a lot less then me, do make it work…OK…by the time they get to me, sometimes they aren’t, but lets think positively. In April, when I was visiting my family in Vegas, I was chasing around my 6 year old cousin Aidan at the park, while my wonderful parents and aunt…watched and laughed at me. It was at that point that I realized I was having a hard time keeping up with him, and that if I waited any longer, I wouldn’t be able to keep up with my kid…

So I am in the beginning stages of the process which is fos/adopt. This means that I will have a child placed in my home who is still a foster child. It could be a really easy process or could be a difficult one, including having a child in my home, and then they reunify with their bio parents. I have sat down and discussed what I am looking for, a baby boy, (though if they call me at 3am with a girl I wont turn her away). I have paid my obnoxious amount for my 3 sets of fingerprints…I wonder how many times I have them done…anyway…going to the 2 day pre-certification class, which I am actually nervous about. Not because of what they will talk about, because frankly they are going to mostly talk about what I do everyday, but that I won’t be able to keep my mouth shut (I know mom that this is hereditary) and being able to put aside my knowledge and training as a social worker, and be a mother. I still have to sign up for a CPR class, and a physical.

This is just the beginning….so I am strapped in, and ready for the ride…