Well it seems that the fortune didn't come true. I know, its only been a few weeks, but I am feeling so defeated. Now, this may have something to do with the fact that I don't think i have had a decent nights sleep in 6 months, and I am so overtired I can't see straight, or the constant heart burn I have had for the last week, or my lack of motivation for anything...it really is as if i am pregnant.
I guess I had convinced myself in the last year, that I would have had a child with me long ago if i could have a local child, then once I was approved for that local child that my phone would be ringing, maybe not off the hook, but at least once in awhile, and my phone hasn't rang once. Maybe this is my life, and what I was meant to do. Maybe I was put here to save these children, and remove them from horrible situations, and make my mark in their life in the 30 minutes I see them, but was not meant to be a mother to any of them. Maybe I just need to come to terms with the possibility that I will never be called Mom...
No comments:
Post a Comment